Losing my vanity

It’s been a few years since I regularly wore makeup. I now enjoy doing my grocery shopping and wandering the streets in tracksuit pants. I did however go to a bar once in my tracky dacks and joggers and that made me feel a bit weird and self conscious. I probably won’t do it again anytime soon. Though where else but Berlin can you dress so casually in a bar and not get looked at twice?

I’ve been trying to analyse my lack of effort in how I look. Is it because I’m now in my 30s, the fact that I’m in a long term relationship, or that I’m just so used to wearing ‘daggy’ clothes in the countryside that I no longer think twice when I do the same in the city? Probably a combination of all three.

I’ve also been thinking a lot lately at the double standards for men and women. I actually started feeling a bit angry seeing that men can just walk around, jog or whatever in public with their shirt off, whereas women get ogled, heckled, catcalled for wearing just existing.

I also hate the fact that at such a young age, girls are told that being beautiful is something to aspire to, but boys don’t have that pressure at all. We’re sold makeup, nail polish, endless products to make us look ‘more beautiful’. I still enjoy putting on makeup every now and then, but it feels so good to be able to get up and just go outside without feeling like I HAVE to wear it.

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