It’s been five years since Artur and I first visited and fell in love with this decrepit little house in “deep Brandenburg”, left abandoned for over seven years. From the moment we stepped into the corridor, saw the half ripped wallpaper and and huge crack running through the wall, we both knew that this was the one.
When I first spent two weeks straight in Fröhden in 2018, I was yearning for nightlife Berlin. I had a desire to just be there in a busy bar, amongst friends and strangers, drinking and staying out til past midnight, like a fresh faced eighteen year old, discovering city adulthood for the first time.
It seems these days that every single week, someone spells my name incorrectly. It’s actually quite incredible, especially since the majority of them are writing to me on Facebook or email, where my name is clearly there.
(Written during my two weeks back in Berlin, after four months away.)
I actually forgot the sound of sirens, til one blasted right past our apartment at midnight.
I feel like a prude saying it, but I hate it when I see men with their shirts off in public. It doesn’t make me look at them or admire their potentially good bodies, but it reminds me of the inequality and injustice between men and women. It reminds me that I can’t just simply take off my shirt because I feel like it. Most women get harassed no matter what they wear, but even more so in the warmer months when we’re less covered up. I was wearing a romper the other day which wasn’t very revealing, but the unwanted leer from men made me feel as if I was walking around in my underwear.
I’ve had a lot of people tell me that it is their dream to live on a farm and grow their own vegetables. I may be ‘living the dream’ but it was never my dream. I sort of just fell into this life.
A while back, I started writing some brief thoughts about various topics I find important to discuss. I would start writing but never felt happy enough with the results to finish. It’s so hard to express everything you feel about a certain subject in a few short sentences.
The eve of my 31st birthday seems the perfect time to just get these words out there. How I feel about these things as a 30 year old. It’s interesting to see how my views have changed in the past few years and I am curious as to how they will evolve in the future.
Oh how I love to be alone.
Something I am most grateful and proud of is the community that has formed around our little Datscha Fröhden. When we first bought the place, we were scared that we would just be out there in the countryside alone, just the two of us.
Everyone talks these days about the dating phenomenon of ‘ghosting’, but I’d like to discuss this practice outside of the dating world and inside the real world in general.